Are we blogging towards paradise?
When starting on any journey, most people like to know where they’re going. Who wants to end up in the desert if they were expecting paradise, the shade of palm trees and a bathe in the sea?!
Those who’ve experienced travelling with me will likely tell you, I may be very clear about our final destination, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that I have any idea about how to actually get there! Fortunately for us all, I hope I have more orientation as far as blogging is concerned. This week has been a reflective one for me as I’ve been considering and reviewing this blogging journey. I’ve been challenged by two books that I read, to consider my journey and to consider what my purpose is with this blog.
Where are we going?
The question is not where I’m going, however, but where we’re going? That’s if you’re going to come along with me for this journey. If this blog were only about me, then I’d be writing a journal. I do write a journal, but I have no intention of publishing it online, or anywhere else! A journal is my private writing and that’s my space to process, but this blogging journey is different. In my personal journey, I process for myself, but on this blogging journey, I’m going somewhere and inviting my readers to come along with me. I’m not on a solitary walk in the park; it’s a group pilgrimage.
Are we going on a journey to paradise then?
The short answer is: that depends on your definition of paradise!
One of the books that I’ve found a challenging read this week is an ebook by a man called Ryan Biddulph. He’s become fairly well known in the blogging world, particularly over the last year or so. Ryan knows where he’s going and he knows where he wants to take his readers. His blog is entitled: Blogging From Paradise and his tagline is, “Retire to a life of island hopping through smart blogging.” His purpose is clear. Ryan and his wife are able to support themselves financially through blogging and to live in “paradise” travelling from island to island, staying in such exotic places as Bali and Fiji. Ryan blogs for those who have a similar purpose.
What’s my paradise?
I didn’t pay too much attention to Ryan’s blog in the beginning because I don’t intend to retire to a life of island hopping! But as I started reading his blog and one of his ebooks this week, I was challenged. I was challenged to consider what my “paradise” is?
Paradise for me as a blogger is a metaphor. It’s my reason for writing. It’s the journey that I’m on. It’s where I’m inviting you to come with me. Some of you may wish to retire to an island, or two or three. If so, please check out Ryan’s blog; it’s a fun read. Anyone interested in travel, or blogging, is likely to enjoy it. However, my journey, my “paradise” my purpose, is different. Just like Ryan, I seek freedom too. I seek the freedom to rise above my circumstances, not to be tied down by them. I seek the freedom to be authentic and not to accept platitudes, clichés or easy answers to life’s challenges. I seek the freedom to wrestle, but also the freedom to find joy in the moment.
The Journey to paradise isn’t always perfect.
My “paradise” isn’t perfect. I could seek perfection and an ideal life, but some of those decisions are out of my hands. I would choose not to have MS. I would choose to have children. I cannot control either of those things, despite the miracle solutions that some may give me! I can be proactive but I cannot control the outcome. My “paradise” is about being real, about being present in the moment. I believe there’s freedom in that. My desire is to be authentic and to encourage others to grow in authenticity.
I’ve spent time this week mind mapping (yes that’s a very me thing to do. Ever since my A’levels, I mindmap!) I’ve been mind mapping my reason for blogging. What’s it all about? Where am I going and where am I taking my readers? In the blogging world that’s quite an important thing to be clear on. Each blog needs to find its niche. I’ve not found that easy because I don’t like being boxed! I write about infertility; it’s part of the journey, but I’m not only an infertility blog. I write about more than that one topic. So what is my niche? It’s to do with how we respond to life’s challenges. My challenges are MS and infertility, but I don’t want this blog only to be tied to those things. I hope that my experiences and thoughts will also resonate with those whose challenges have been different to mine.
At the end of the day, whatever we wrestle with, we’re still wrestling. We need to be free to wrestle, to process, to be real in the midst of that. That was my reason for starting a blog. It’s not that I feel this huge urge to broadcast my life issues online. It’s that inside me there’s a desire to be authentic and to encourage others to be authentic and to scream from the rooftops that it’s ok to be real! It’s ok not to have all the answers. It’s ok to grieve. It’s ok to reject the platitudes and insensitive comments. It’s ok to be you. And my “paradise” is writing and growing in authentic communication. I long to be free to stay with the questions when sometimes there aren’t any answers. I long to speak words of life and freedom. I long to be authentic and say it how it is, to be allowed to process the pain and not have to hide it away. I long to encourage others to grow in how we respond to the whole area of suffering. Suffering is not the destination it’s merely the catalyst. We cannot always choose what happens to us but we can choose how we respond to it. In that sense, we get to choose our destination.
Ever Upward is Paradise
Another book that I read (or rather listened to on audible) is called Ever Upward. It’s a book about infertility and about overcoming challenging life circumstances. I’ve been getting to know Justine Froelker, the author, a little on twitter and she was kind enough to send me a copy of her book in exchange for a review. I was happy to be able to write her a 5-star review.
Often the encouragement that we want to offer people is that everything will be perfect. We may even interrupt their concerns and grieving process to assure them that’s it’s going to be just fine, “you have to be optimistic. You have to think positively.” What does that mean? Does being optimistic and positive mean that we have to be so focussed on the perfect ideal option that we aren’t even free to consider other options? In a Christian/Church context, does faith mean that we proclaim that everything will happen exactly how we want it to or could it include the possibility that it might not?
I question the idea that optimism, positivity and faith mean that we have to focus solely on the best case scenario without being free to consider the alternative. There’s a time for everything. There’s a time to fight and to believe and to keep going and keep trying. There’s a time to walk and push through although your legs are buckling. There’s a time to stop and take a rest because it’s not doing you any favours (yes, I need to put that one into practise at the moment!) There’s a time to focus on becoming a parent and a time when it’s ok to question whether or not that will happen
Justine’s book is authentic and as you’ll have gathered, I like authentic! It’s an autobiographical account of her experience of infertility. Justine has come out the end of that journey, not because she’s got the “happy ever after ending” that all of us on the infertility journey seek, but because she has defined her own “happy ever after” when things didn’t go according to plan. I find that inspirational. It’s inspirational because I know that many people do get pregnant after infertility, with or without treatment. But let’s not give a false sense of security here, not everyone does. For me, if I can imagine the “worst case scenario” (and not having kids is a pretty bad scenario for us) and imagine finding happiness even in the midst of that, then somehow infertility loses its power over me. I’m not talking about being happy about the circumstance, but rather about finding happiness in the midst of it. There’s an enormous difference. I’m still free to cry; I just don’t intend to drown in those tears.
I’m still free to cry; I just don’t intend to drown in those tears! Click To TweetCheck out Justine’s blog: Ever Upward
My paradise Tagline
My journey towards “paradise” my “Ever upward” is one of authenticity. Some of you may have noticed that I’ve been playing around with my tagline this week, the words under the main blog title. Eventually, I came up with a phrase that, along with the surviving the platitudes title, sums up what the purpose of this blog is, “Let’s embrace authenticity and face life’s challenges.” I’m on a journey, to rise above the platitudes, to look down on them and refuse to let them have power over me. Being a fairly sensitive person, I’m not sure whether that initial sting will go away, but I can choose whether I let it make its home inside me. This is a journey for all of us, a journey to take the risk and to dare to rise above the apparent safety of platitudes and to be who we really are. We can be authentic in the encounters that we have with those who are going through a tough time. We can dare to be authentic and to reject the platitudes when we’re in the middle of our own situations. Platitudes are often a form of avoidance, a sign that we don’t really want to engage. There is freedom in engaging with our own life situations. Ignoring them doesn’t make them go away. There is freedom in authentic encounters with those around us too. That’s the brave thing to do, to face the challenges rather than try to turn our back on them. Though we may go through the hardest of times, let’s not lose ourselves in the process. That would be the greatest tragedy.
The Paradise Pilgrimage
For those that feel more comfortable to hop in anonymously, read and leave, that’s authentic and we like that on this blog! But the truth is, I love hearing from you. I love to know that you’re accompanying me on this journey (that one of the anonymous stats I see is you!) I love hearing your experiences, your thoughts, your journeys. I’m on a pilgrimage of discovery here and I believe that my readers have much to teach me too. The comments are here for community as we process together. If that’s not comfortable for you but you have something to say, there’s always the option of a private Facebook message, email or DM tweet. I’ve so appreciated hearing from all of you who have sent me messages. Thanks so much for the encouragement.
I’d love to hear your thoughts on the new tagline or how the direction of this blog resonates with you.
Rachel, you are an inspiration to us all. You have so much to battle with but you always take time to love people, to spend time with them and to share with them. Your blogs pose questions and thoughts that I can transfer to my own life, often things I haven’t thought of. Keep blogging Caroline xx
Thank you Caroline. I could say those very same words back to you! Apart from the second half about the blog posts, since you don’t write one 😉 If you did, I’m sure you’d have a lot of inspiring things to say. You certainly inspire me. So grateful for your friendship. I certainly intend to keep blogging, although sometimes I get scared by some of the things I want to say! Haha. Thanks for your support, Xx
HI Rachel. I have been one of your invisible followers so thought I’d drop you a comment this morning.
Your blog today so touched me in it’s “realness” (my word!)
When circumstances are out of our control, and never- ending day after day, the desire to be “real” in them and not accept the platitudes is often to struggle against the flow.
But as I read your words they bless me in their reality.
My journey is one I never chose to take and at first the deepest darkest place I have ever known.
Yet, there is such an echo in me in your finding a way to be free to be you.
In my case free to grieve how and when I like, even now after 9 years.
But to grow a faith that is strong enough to withstand what may or may not come along in the future.
Bless you in your writings. They bless me
Vivxx
VIV Sellers recently posted…Yosemite remembered. May 2014
Hi Viv,
So wonderful to see you here and thank you for your comment. I’ve just taken time to read through some of your blog and I’m so moved by your posts. A wonderful tribute to Matt, who I remember so well from Breakout days. I am touched by your own authenticity in what you write. You certainly have found a way to be free to grieve. I have much to learn from you and feel so privileged that you’re here with me reading this blog. Not accepting platitudes does indeed feel like struggling against the flow, but maybe as we each process and grow in authenticity, we’ll start a new flow! Thank you so much for your encouragement today, Xx
Hi Rachel,
Wow, this floors me! SO humbled you mentioned me and my books in this lovely post. The cool thing is paradise can mean anything to anybody, and it’s so key to let our intuition guide us to our own version. This is happiness, this is freedom and this is the way to inspire others from so many walks of life. You are an inspiring, inspiring person, who has helped me rise above my mental blocks, and physical ones too, to reach higher and higher. Thanks so much Rachel!!
Tweeting and Pinning from Bali.
Ryan
Ryan Biddulph recently posted…How to Become an Influential Blogger in 6 Months or Less (New eBook on Amazon)
Hi Ryan,
Thanks so much for your comment. I feel privileged to have you over here. I know this blog isn’t your niche (I’ve read two of your books, I know this probably isn’t a blog you would normally comment on!) I had to mention you in this post though, because reading your book was inspirational to me in considering where I’m going with this blog. I’ve been challenged by stepping out of the box and expanding my horizons. Your books and blog posts have given me much to think about. Even if I take paradise as a metaphor, I’m still going there! And that’s a wonderful and freeing feeling 🙂 Plus, I get to find my own paradise, all while enjoying yours through reading your blog!
Thanks for sharing this post, I really appreciate that, Rachel
Hi Rachel,
Even before you wrote this post, I had realized that you like interacting with readers. You take the time to read the commenter’s blog and try to get to know them too. In fact, when I visit your blog and leave a comment every time, I feel like we are actually communicating. You reply from your heart and you connect! This post just reiterates that point. It’s a journey together! But, of course, in this journey you spread a lot of positivity and happiness to all who read your posts in spite of the fact that you fight your own battles! I really admire you as a person!! 🙂 Well… your tag line sums it up nicely! It’s so touching as well. Keep going!!
xoxo
Aish
Aish | pcosindiandiet recently posted…How I respond to insensitive questions on infertility
Hi Aish,
It’s amazing how much it’s possible to connect with people online isn’t it? I’ve been amazed by that. Particularly in the infertility world, I’ve made lifelong friends. I do really enjoy connecting with people. I love authentic relationships. A comment on a blog comes from a person and I love getting to know each person. I’m definitely drawn to your recent blog title. I’ll be checking that out tomorrow! It’s so good to journey together. I wish that neither of us would have to be on this journey, but since we are, it’s great to be able to support each other.
Thanks so much for your kind words. See you over on your blog tomorrow (it’s bedtime for me now since I live in Europe!)
Rachel X
Rachel,
What a lovely post. This is the first time I’ve been able to sit down and read one of your posts. You come across as calm and patient, despite what you’ve been through / are going through. So admirable! I look forward to getting to know you better!
Thanks Jen. I’m glad I come across as calm and patient, at least some of the time, LOL! I have my moments when both of those things seem to take a break though 😉 It’s all a process. Great to have you here. Look forward to getting to know you better too.
Hi Rachel,
I’m a loyal follower of Ryan and his idea of “Blogging from Paradise” for me means that we can live a laptop lifestyle in any way we choose. I wouldn’t want to live in the tropics because the bugs are too big lol. But because I do live the laptop lifestyle, I did move to the beach in Southern Maine. Quite the change for a New Yorker! But I wanted to be in a quiet place in a small town with a walk to the beach. Yes, even in cold weather.
We are all unique and have our ideas of living our own Paradise. Mine is to never stop working online. I can follow my passions, be creative and the best of all is meeting people all over the planet. What a wonderful gift technology has given us.
I love your tagline “Let’s embrace authenticity and face life’s challenges.” Because it says it all. We need to embrace ourselves, who we are and keep on that journey of self discovery. And if there is one thing we can always count on in life it is challenges. But as long as we can embrace them and not fall into doom, life is a wonderful experience.
-Donna
Donna Merrill recently posted…Got Business Swag?
Hi Donna,
Welcome to Surviving the Platitudes! Great to see you here 🙂
Haha, I definitely relate to not liking bugs that are too big! I get to go to Puerto Rico every two years, since my husband is Puerto Rican, so that’s my piece of the tropical life style. The mosquitos there leave me with massive bruises though; horrible creatures! And let’s not even go into some of the lizards that they have there…
The beeach in Southern Maine sounds like a great choice. I’d always choose the small town life though, over and above a big city. The sea is a big bonus and that’s what I miss where I live now, in the north of Spain. So glad you get to blog from your Paradise. I love meeting people from all over the world too.
I’m convinced that Ryan’s idea of “blogging from paradise” has much to say to anyone who blogs, whatever their niche. It all comes back to having purpose in blogging and knowing where we’re going with it.
Yes, those challenges will always be there in life. We all have to face something. As I’ve shared here, two of my biggest challenges at the moment are MS and infertility, but others with have their own challenges to face. I didn’t want only to write for the infertility/MS readers, but for all who are facing challenges or responding to others who are facing them. Maybe that covers the whole world, haha!! But I’m told that you can’t blog for everyone. And that’s right, we can’t. Not everyone will want to embrace authenticity or to face their challenges. For those of us who do, I believe that life is going to be a lot better than it would otherwise have been.
I look forward to getting to know you better Donna. Have a great week,
Rachel
Hey Rachel,
So glad you got some value from Ryan’s books. I’ve been following him for a few years now before he started blogging from paradise. He’s right though and you are as well, our paradise can mean whatever we want it to. I don’t want to go island hopping either. I’m at the stage in my life where that’s the last thing I want to do. But my paradise is just being who I want and doing what I want. That’s being totally free to me and what he shares in his books are how to go about achieve those goals.
I’m glad you found so much value from them and I know you’ve been playing around with your tagline and seeing where you actually fit here in the blogging world. I know it’s hard for those who have so much to share but I think you just have to ask yourself what you want to achieve with your blog. Once you can honestly answer that then you can figure the rest out. I like your tagline as well by the way and I would only hope that we can all stay true to ourselves and brace our own authenticity.
Great share Rachel and you have a wonderful week.
~Adrienne
Adrienne recently posted…Magical Monday: Snip.ly, How To, Bloggers, Cool Tools, Interview
Hi Adrienne,
Thanks for your comment.
Yes I’ve really enjoyed reading two of Ryan’s books and catching up on his blog posts. I’ll be reading some more of his books for sure. They’re an easy and interesting read, with lots of useful information for bloggers. It’s been so great for me to consider what my paradise is. It’s definitely an authentic place.
I enjoyed playing around with my tagline. It’s unbelievable how long it took me to write seven words though! If I took that long over a blog post, I wouldn’t write more than one a year! Haha. I’m happy with what I got eventually though. I think it sums up a lot of what I want to achieve with this blog.
Thanks for the encouragement. I hope you have a wonderful week too,
Rachel
Rechel, this is the first time visiting of your blog but I love your article.
Actually, today I went Adrienne’s blog and I found that you have leave a wonderful comment over. The comment permalinks of commentluv plugin show many attractive headline of your post. I would love to read this.
I first please say that, Congrats that you have found your “Paradise”. I am really glade that you have connect with Ryan Buddish because he is go blogging director who lead many bloggers to live in “Paradise”.
You said that you’ve read his eBook. I believe that you got the right directions of blogging. Actually, you have similar paradise to me. I have not plan for living in Iceland, but I got my own.
I enjoy my “Paradise”, and I want to make it real..
Thanks for sharing, your journal. I really love it. I have subscribed your mailing, and we will keep more connect..!
Nice to meet you today…!
Kimsea Sok recently posted…6 Monster Blog Marketing Mistakes You Have to Stop It
Hi Kimsea, Welcome to Surviving the Platitudes! So glad that you enjoyed the post. Sorry that I was late approving this comment but I had to rescue it from the spam folder! I’m not sure why it was sent there. Usually the system is fairly good at getting it right.
I think I’m probably in process of finding my “paradise” rather than having it all sussed. At least I’m clearer on where I’m going though and on what the purpose is for this blog. It’s always great to get feedback.
So great to have you here. You don’t seem to be subscribed to the blog yet. Perhaps you need to click on a link sent to you via email, in order to confirm the subscription? I look forward to having more contact with you, Rachel
Rachel recently posted…Are we going to Paradise on this Blogging Journey?
Hi Rachel,
Such a refreshing post! We all have a paradise in mind, even if we haven’t thought too seriously about it. After reading your post,
I also explored on mine and probably will look forward to work towards that end. This is a very thought provoking post, especially for bloggers (and can also apply to others)!
Thanks for this wonderful and beautiful post! Have a great day!
Nisha Pandey recently posted…12 easy ways to get more followers on Instagram for free
Hi Nisha,
So great to have you here. Glad that you found this post refreshing. I look forward to checking out your blog and to seeing how you work towards this journey.
I think you’re right; we all probably start blogging with a “paradise” in mind. I know I did. It’s just that taking the time to pinpoint it specifically and to make it clear to our readers, is so important. I know I found that time to be a really good investment. I feel that I have a clearer idea of where I’m going now.
Thanks for the encouragement. Glad you found the post helpful. Have a great day and a good start to the new week,
– Rachel